“Why doesn’t he stop??,”she thought. Everyday for the past seven months now. She felt so withered in front of those blooming, fresh flowers. Her own reflection in the mirror opposite her bed showed her emaciated. Her worn from life look kept showing her reality in the face. Her weary eyes with those heavy dark circles and dried streams of tears made her realize how life had treated her since the moment she felt she could lead it instead of it leading her.
1st May 1995. It was her first day at work. She wasn’t quite excited though. She had just gotten over with her studies and the very next day her mom had made her join this internship. She tried her best to talk her mom out of it but she would’nt hear a word. She had talked to very top notch people to get her this internship and now there was no way she would let her daughter ruin it. She knew it was going to help her long term and even though she didn’t realize it, she being her mother had to do her part in making her stand in this world on her own.
Fast forward six months and she had already been stated ‘employee of the month’ at the end of the fifth. All in all she was proving to be quite adept day by day at her work. She planned to continue working there to her mother’s surprise and delight though. However no one knew why she was doing it. Since childhood she had stood in front of various toyshops longing for a mere doll house. Not that her parents couldn’t afford it but she wanted to get one on her own. She wanted to be independent: of her parents, of her place in a family. All she wanted was to make it on her own from a very early age and now that she had this opportunity, she wasn’t going to let it go that easily. She planned to earn and save so that one day she could flee to her land of dreams where she’d make her dreams come true on her own without any restrictions imposed by family or society.
Little did she realize that around the world women are not given the chance to do so. Societal norms and blasphemy held them in the intricate chains of bonds that they could never escape, never let loose from.
31st December 1999. Finally the day arrived when she thought she had gathered enough to leave the world she currently dwelled in and enter a new one. That night she just escaped stealthily into the night unaware of the fact that escaping into darkness would hinder light entering her life for a long time. She had prepared herself to face any tribulations and thought she could stand up to anything alone. Strange that this mere thought of fighting alone gives so much courage to one self. She was young, haughty and selfish. All she thought was about herself and so, that night too she fled..from responsibilities, from the life every woman in her society is meant to spend and where there’s no escaping from it.
She was only twenty, unsure of her future yet convicted by her aims. Its funny though that life could bring one down to earth in a snap. All dreams, aspirations, everything just fades away in the mist of dread and misery. She had forgotten that fate and life bring about people on paths that seem endless yet are full of pain. That night fate overcame all her dreams, shattered them and left her cold and helpless. Trying to find one’s own destiny isn’t a sin but life would never want someone to take her lead, for us to forget some things are meant to be and cannot be undone. Things that leave their dark imprints on our pasts and memories that can never be erased nor be justified.
Lurking behind a street’s corner were shadows that started following her when she passed them. First slowly, and then they gained up on her. Laughter echoed all around..laughter that still rang in her ears..haunted her dreams..made her curse herself everyday. A girl’s worst nightmare..that’s what happened that night. She was left used and bruised by those immoral bastards, hurt to the soul, bleeding all over and unconscious.
1st May 2005. More red roses. The nurse took away yesterday’s that were still in bloom and replaced them with the fresh ones he had just brought and gave them in to the nurse only because she herself was sleeping. She woke up immediately after he left. Gazing at the beautiful flowers she thought, “ Why??Just why doesn’t he stop??”.
It was only a day later that she got her answer. The next day she overheard him speaking to her mother. She was shocked to hear that he wanted to marry her. “ This isn’t happening. No it cant be,no no no. Somebody should stop him. He doesn’t deserve me. Please no.” Her heart kept prompting all this stuff to her and somewhere in between thinking she slept with misty eyes.
Next morning she woke up to the sound of Azaan. She tried to get up on her bed and prayed. She had her tea. Come 10 am and the door bell rang. More red roses. She called him in. He looked at her and she felt shaken to the soul. She felt water in her eyes and she couldn’t control it streaming down her cheeks. He sat next to her and wiped the tears. Nothing was said. Both their eyes were talking. Hers kept pleading his to look away and stop pouring life in her, and his making hers keep looking and see those promises and hopes he carried within him.
She looked into his eyes and whispered “I am dying.” He smiled and whispered back “ You’ll always live in my heart. I won’t let you leave.”
The reports said she had HIV. She might only have just a few more years to live. Yet she felt content. Knowing that she was about to die but having a man who loved her for just being herself without any compromises and promises made her stronger and gave her will to hang on for just a bit longer.
December 31st 2005. Drapes drawn across shady windows..rain falls outside heavily..people leave the dull ward. Footsteps are heard along the hallway and nurses turn their heads to see the man who had been bringing some more red roses everyday for the past 10 years to the same ward, for the same person.
Today however felt different. The roses seemed melancholic too as if the drops of dew they carried were tears mourning someone’s departure. Slowly he opened the door. She looked so peaceful resting her cheek on her palm. Her slow but steady breathes made the room so serene. Despite the weakness her ailment had left her with and the dark circles beneath her dreamy eyes, she still looked beautiful. He stood in the door gazing at her for a long time. Then he entered and sat besides her. He held her hand softly and put it up against his face. He picked one red rose and placed it besides her cheek. She opened her eyes then and smiled seeing him. Still holding her hand he said, “You have made my life beautiful ever since I saw you ten years ago. You are the only person I would keep giving these roses everyday for my entire life because only I know what you and your soul mean to me. Thank you for always being a part of my life.” That said, he kissed her hand gently.
That’s when he felt her grip loosen. A tear dropped from his eye and rested on the rose lying on her bed. He kissed her forehead and whispered, “I won't say goodbye my dearest..we will always be together.”
For as long as he lived, people came from far and wide to see the famous grave that bloomed with more red roses everyday and their scent made the air so magical it felt miraculous to just stand and feel it.
Sometimes love just teaches lessons that are felt not learnt. Sometimes we find our value in the eyes of someone we might not know well enough yet know to an extent that they touch our souls and make us realize what life is really worth.
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